"I'll Huff and I'll Puff..."

Ahoy, Crypto Scouts!

I have been receiving more critiques from my "#1 fan", the so-called "WereLOLf". I'll let his own words speak for themselves... er... for him... for himself... Well, just take a look!

Dearest Crypto-Scout,
I hope this letter finds you well... because when I get around to eviscerating you and then urinating on your steaming guts (so my kin are aware that your guts belong to ME), I want you in tip-top condition. Evisceration (and the subsequent territory-marking) is much more satisfying that way.

You may think that I hadn't noticed the defamatory footnote at the tail of a recent blog entry, but (pause for "traumatic" effect)... I DID! Still convinced I'm imaginary, eh? FOOL! You won't think of me as a mere hoax after I unleash my army of lycanthropes upon the human-choked Earth (AKA "RAWR-mageddon"). Please find the included polaroids. A special sneak preview, if you will. A sneak preview of my vengeful plot against YOU and all who doubt the existence of The Brotherhood.

But especially YOU.

I HOPE you dislike being eviscerated and urinated upon...
*The WereLOLf

PS: You may be wondering why I would GROW an army instead of infecting your fellow hairless apes with The Curse of the WereLOLf. The answer's simple, if a tad embarrassing. Your libelous anti-WereLOLf ravings have triggered a deep dark depression within my deep dark soul. I'm a binge-eater and often self-medicate with my favorite comfort foods. Currently, I lack the self-control to grant my victims mercy (and thus, Transformation) and never leave leftovers post-attack (waste not...).

There's the rub. No survivors... no WereLOLf horde at my command.

Yet.

My "END is near"? Are the WereLOLfs planning to sniff my rear-end? Doesn't sound too threatening. Annoying, sure. Apparently this "hoax" needs a lesson in personal space.

I'll keep you posted, faithful Scouts, when (not if) the "WereLOLf" surfaces again. Once the "crazies" come out of the woodwork and find a venue for their attention-hungry egos, they don't tend to stay too quiet. Am I right?

Cryptically yours,
*The Crypto-Scout

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