I was dismayed to discover the closing of a fine establishment, the Adventurers Club (more details HERE!). It was a place for explorers and adventurers (like yours truly) to relax, exchange tales of expeditions and encounters, gaze upon rare artifacts and memorable photographs, converse with an upholstered Yakoose (part yak and part moose), and sample spirits of various sophistication and flavor.
In an ongoing investigation to find a club with a comparable ambiance, I, the Crypto-Scout, mounted an expedition into dangerous territories. What I discovered is the tale I will now impart to you.
CIRCUS CIRCUS:
The sign near the facade of the structure indicated that this was a place for Gentlemen. I wasn't wearing a tie, but my collared shirt was buttoned and tucked in, my socks were pulled high, I had a clean hankie in my pocket, and my manners are QUITE gentlemanly, if I do say so myself. What mysteries would be revealed within? What Magix would be invoked? How many Wonders of the World would I count? Which busking, geekery, and otherwise unusual showbiz talents would be produced for my amazement? Would I dare to face the challenge of the "funhouse"? I do dare. Am I mad enough to enter this world of darkness? You bet.
Upon entering, I was "greeted" by a burly man (the Strong Man or just a Roustabout?... hard to say) who stared down menacingly, invoking that glorious "fight or flight" response in me that us Adventurers hold so dear. There were 3 "rings" on raised stages inside the main attraction area, where a few contortionists and trapeze artists (mostly solo, but some duo acts) were dazzling the crowd with death-defying (and even virtue*blush*defying) feats of derring-do. I didn't see any clowns exactly (I did spot a hobo), but the sparse, yet enthusiastic, crowd was enraptured with the Burlesque-ian acrobatics on display. A clown's buffoonery would only break the spell.
One of the bodyglitter-bespeckled belly (?) dancers took me by the hand and escorted me to an even-more-vacant vicinity and proceeded to whisper untold secrets into my curious ear. Was she a gypsy princess? "You wanna go into the back and get your FREAK on?" she inquired. Of course! The sideshow! I knew a seedier carnival such as this would contain a gallery of Freaks. I merely needed to gain their trust and invitation. I answered her with a resounding affirmative "Do I?!" and followed her to a darkly-lit section behind a curtain. My eyes probed the shadows for signs of a unicorn (if only!), Fiji mermaid, dog-faced boy, or other unnaturally grotesque specimen/s as I reached for my trusty Crypto-Cam.
"Pictures will cost ya extra," proclaimed my perfumed escort, who was appearing to grow impatient. I asked for the price of admission into the Freak Show (and for photographic documentation rights) and was flabbergasted at the exorbitant quote she gave me. The marvels just beyond my grasp must be TRULY marvelous at those prices, but my lack of funding just wouldn't allow this step into the unknown. I thanked her anyway, apologized for her inconvenience, avoided her stare (the gypsy Evil Eye???), and made my way to the exit, past the glowering Burly Man. My pace quickened. I'll have to venture into the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum (obvious, I know) for a potential glimpse at a real Fiji mermaid instead (EDIT: or maybe not :( ).
And what of snake charming, sword swallowing, or even balloon twisting? Were they included with the entry fee into CIRCUS CIRCUS' big top? All extra, I had been assured.
Cryptically yours,
*The Crypto-Scout
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A marvelous tale of derring-do! Perhaps further investigation and dare I say research might have revealed the true purpose of "Circus, Circus"
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