Sunday, August 30, 2009

Raptor Captor? Negative. Still the Crypto-Scout...

Ahoy, Crypto Scouts!

A Crypto-Scout always needs to stay sharp and keep his/her skills finely tuned. Obviously, in-field action is the preferred method for skill-tuning/sharpening, but there's nothing wrong with an occasional challenging SIMULATION... especially if the Cryptids are particularly surreptitious (and by the very definition of "cryptozoology", it's the "nature of the beast").

I had pinpointed such a training device in a local recreational facility, where many other trainees were testing their various abilities. After determining that "Skee-Ball" had very little practical application in my field, I approached a machine labeled "RAPTOR CAPTOR" with cautious determination. I do discover extinction-dodging living dinos fairly frequently on my expeditions. What safer way to prepare for the distinguishable (AND distinguished) dangers of prehistoric peril than to capture a virtual specimen, under controlled circumstances?

My first stumbling block would be to navigate the convoluted tuition for my training. No hefty student loans were required luckily, but I was forced to exchange my perfectly good U.S. of A. currency for "tokens" that I was to insert into the device's receptacle. These tokens, then in turn, purchased X number of "balls". Wait, it gets MORE Daedalean! When/if I successfully complete my lessons, the machine would then eject an earned amount of "tickets" (or so I was told). These "tickets" could then be traded in for what? My certificate of completion? Transcripts? ANOTHER form of currency? I was beginning to think this was some sort of underground money-laundering operation.

I won't get into my final score here. But, needless to say, very few Raptors were captured that day (in my defense, they ARE highly intelligent AND organized reptiles). My $20 had eventually transformed into a modest handful of tickets that I was able to trade in for a trophy, of sorts. It was clearly not a Raptor, but the young lady behind the counter, with the unfortunate orthodontal appliances, did mention that the small plastic effigy I procured could be placed on the top of my writing implement/s.

"Pencil Topper" is what she called it, IIRC. "Isn't it cute?"

You might question the effort and money spent. But cryptozoology is not a vocation for the easily frustrated. Results are not always guaranteed, regardless of skill-level. I justify the $20 as a valuable educational experience, preparing me for future merit badges and title addendums... and most importantly, personal knowledge and further advancements in Cryptid Conservation. Besides, I EARNED that "Pencil Topper". Broke a sweat even.

I'll be leaving the title of "Raptor Captor" to the professionals and will remain MERELY (not that there's anything wrong with that) "Crypto-Scout" for another day. Maybe I'll fair better at Off-Road Velociraptor Safari!

Cryptically (and perpetually) yours,
*The Crypto-Scout

Post-Script: A photograph of my prize is forth-coming. Stand by!
Update! HERE it is!

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