Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Crypto Spotlight: The Woeful Ballad of El Crypto

Ahoy, Crypto Scouts!

I have had the pleasure of meeting many Monster Hunters over the years, but none as dedicated, as daring, and as dressed-to-kill (the senoritas just ADORE him) as EL CRYPTO.

We were Little Bigfeet bunk mates during our summers at Camp Crypto Lake. We'd practice our foot-print casting, spend hours listening to the hypnotic beep of a Crypto-Sonar, and quiz each other in preparation for our Crypto Scout badge exams (HE had a plethora). But our days of building popsicle and macaroni Jackalope hutches were over all too quickly.

El Crypto's famous fellow-luchador brother and champion of the ring, OCCULTO, had been killed under mucho mysterious circumstances. Tragico! The messy remains and surrounding evidence left behind seemed to implicate that an unidentified Monster was the perpetrator. Vowing revenge, my masked camp companion abandoned his oath to protect the unknown creatures beyond science's limited understanding and instead swore to pursue an illustrious career in Monster-Punching.

Our paths do still cross on occasion. And every so often, I receive a postcard from some exotic location, heralding the exploits of El Crypto's latest conquest (in the arena, in the wild, and/or in the boudoir). The senoritas still adore him more than ever, but I'm sorry to say that MY admiration for the Romancero has diminished since he's taken up this rage-blinded crusade of violent retribution. Come back to the troop, El Crypto. The field of cryptozoology needs your special lucha libre powers, now more than ever.

Cryptically yours,
*The Crypto-Scout

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